Lice Lessons: What I Learned When Our Daughter Came Home With Lice

Somehow, we survived eight and a half years in my household without having to deal with lice. We made it through several outbreaks in daycare and elementary school unscathed (or un-loused?), and last month, our luck ran out. My friend had picked up our daughter for a playdate and noticed lice in her hair. I frantically called the local “Lice Lady”, who happened to be out of town that weekend, and realized I had to tackle the problem myself. (She did offer to help when she returned, but I didn’t want to wait!) Luckily, this friend offered to help as she had recently dealt with the same issue in her household (there is currently an outbreak in our children’s grade). 

We spent two hours combing out my daughter’s extremely long hair while she winced in pain and begged for us to finish. It was physically painful for her and emotionally painful for me. She understood that it needed to happen, but that didn’t ease any of the discomfort. After over a week of combing, doing laundry, cleaning, vacuuming obsessively, and sanitizing, I was exhausted. In thinking back to that experience, I realized I learned a great deal (not only about how long lice live on various surfaces, or that human head lice are different from dog lice). 

Here are some of my takeaways: 

Try not to be complacent: I had been lucky enough to not have any of my children get lice while they were in preschool, and I didn’t even think that it would happen in elementary school. I was certainly naïve to this point, but it can be easy for us to become complacent and think “that won’t happen to me.” As I had never had an experience with lice before, I wasn’t sure what to look for. I assumed that I would see bugs crawling on my children’s heads; however, I learned that the eggs can be mistaken for fuzz, a speck of dirt, or clumps of hair product stuck in their hair. Now that I have this knowledge, I know what to look for, and I will be more vigilant in the future. 

Accept the help: My first instinct was to tell my friend that I could handle it, and I didn’t need any help. I’m so glad she insisted on helping me. It would have taken me much longer to comb through my daughter’s hair, and since she had experience with this, she was able to guide me on the proper techniques. As much as you might not want to burden someone by allowing them to help you, if someone offers, they genuinely mean they want to support you. Accept the help and be grateful.

Be there for others: I am so blessed to have found a “mom tribe” among the parents of my kids’ friends. We do what we can to support each other, and if someone needs a ride for their kids, a playdate so they can take a break, advice, or just someone to vent to, we are there for one another. I’m glad I made the effort to meet the parents of my kids’ friends at birthday parties and school events. You never know who might become a close friend and your support system.

Be open and honest: I contemplated whether to say anything to the other girls’ moms in her class, as I was frankly embarrassed that it happened. My daughter also didn’t want any of her friends to know. I’m glad that I told them, as one of them found lice on their daughter. Ultimately, I wanted to eliminate the outbreak at her school and improve the situation for everyone involved.  

Try and stay calm for your kids: If my daughter had seen me panicking, she would have started to panic too. Our kids look for our reactions to situations and react in-kind. It’s up to us to attempt to model the behavior we want to see in our kids. I tried my best to regulate myself and not let her see my concern, and instead, worked to help her recognize that this was something that we could get through together. 

Parasites don’t discriminate: Parasites only look for a food source in order to survive. That’s all. This can

be true for people who have parasitic tendencies as well. It’s up to us to eliminate them and ensure that they don’t return. We can do this in the nicest way possible; however, parasites will do whatever they can to get what they want. 

I never expected that I would have an epiphany methodically combing and treating my daughter’s hair, but you never know where the lessons will originate. I could reflect on the situation with resentment and frustration. I am choosing to look back at it with gratitude and amusement. I was able to spend a great deal of one-on-one time with my daughter and get to those seasonal cleaning tasks that I had been putting off! 

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” –Duke Ellington